So Manchester United's European dreams are over for another year - cool! :)

Am I wrong to take so much delight in the defeat of an English team? Maybe. But let me explain.

The two legs of the Champions League quarter-final between United and Real Madrid made for 180 of the most entertaining minutes of football that I've seen in a long time, and despite the Spanish team definitely being the better of the two, the Mancs certainly played their part. Both teams did their sport proud.

But many of my colleagues were surprised to hear whoops of delight when Ronaldo slotted his first past Barthez, and my groan when van Nistelrooy levelled for the Reds. "Don't you want United to win? Why aren't you backing the English team?" they asked.

Well, I've never liked Manchester United. Ever. So why should I be expected to abandon my principles when they're playing Johnny Foreigner? Surely that would make me a hypocrite. Ryan Giggs made United's stance clear enough a few years ago when he said the Premiership title wasn't really important compared with the European Cup. Okeydokey Ryan - you don't want us, we don't want you. And don't expect me to back the team based on some misplaced, half-baked notion of patriotism.

One colleague suggested this was similar to Scots supporting whichever team was playing England. I quite agree. Although not usually known to be a big one for bigotry, by golly, this is football we're talking about and sometimes one just has to take a stand. The Scots obviously have their reasons for hating us, and I've always found them to be a highly principled people, so to equate my indiscriminatory prejudice towards Manchester United with such a well-established partisan tradition is fine by me.

Of course it's not the first time I've been placed in this position. Manchester's treble-winning season of 1998/99 was much worse, because people made it personal. Friends and family - people who would normally spit the words Manchester United - were among those who backed Manyoo against my team, my Toon, in the FA Cup final. And all because they wanted to see an English club win the biggest three trophies available.

What treachery! No wonder Newcastle didn't bother playing - they knew there was a country of bandwagon-jumping glory seekers stacked against them.

Then there's the other weekend's 6-2 drubbing to keep the fires of hatred burning.

Nope. Manchester United are Manchester United whichever way you read it, and they'll never have my backing, whoever they may be playing.

And I managed to get through that without calling them the Scum even once. :)

(With apologies to dear Duncan, sadly afflicted though he is)