Tales from the Newsroom
All I'd asked for was a good look at Condoleezza Rice's legs...

A couple of weeks ago, the radio on my alarm kicked in, as it so often does, at 4.54am. Through the haze I could hear an American woman extolling the US National Security Advisor's many virtues, including what she said were the best pair of legs she'd ever seen on a woman. Naturally my interest was aroused, and a sighting was mentally filed under "To do" (along with all the other seemingly pointless but profound ambitions, such as managing to walk through the double-ended lift on my way into work without having to wait for it to arrive).

Fast forward to today, and the Cowboy's ongoing tour of African nations, giving speeches to those who need a lot more help than he's prepared to give. With Ms Rice not being that much of a public figure, the opportunities to clock her legendary pins are few and far between. But with this being such a landmark statesmanlike tour, she's a major part of George's posse, front and centre. And I spot her sitting, waiting for the Leader of The Free World and Thabo Mbeki to give a joint news conference.

"Aha," says I, "now let's see if they're really that good."

My colleague asks what, I explain, and she replies: "Really? Funny how all Bush's black people suddenly appear when he's touring Africa."

Conversation moves on to Condie's dream job (NFL Commissioner, apparently) and I say maybe one day she'll get the gig after she's taken over from Baby Bush in calling the shots at the White House.

Colleague disagrees about ever seeing a President Rice. Why, I wonder? So she spills the beans on a rumour I'd not heard before...

Back in the days when Big Bush ran the world and the Little Rock Love Machine was gearing up to challenge him for the presidency, the Republicans thought they had the title sewn up because they knew Clinton's tryst with Gennifer Flowers and other such dalliances were the keys to a second term. You're a surefire winner if you're fighting a sinner.

Oh no you don't, said Bill's boys, cos we got dirt that says your guy's been getting a little extra-curricular briefing from a young White House adviser. What with Barbara getting on in years, Daddy Bush was allegedly dabbling in Black Magic with his Soviet affairs specialist, one Ms C Rice. Allegedly. (Although if the CIA is reading - hi guys! - my source had no evidence that I know of, and I wrote it off as hearsay, unable to be substantiated.)

And so with both sides knowing they were locked in suicidal stalemate, a clean campaign was fought, George Senior lost, and Condoleezza had to resume her academic career until the GOP got back to the TOP.

Now I won't say that I believe Condie slept her way to power - otherwise the same accusation would have to be levelled at most of Junior's team. He's just stuck with the folks his dad trusted. Ms Rice is undoubtedly a fiercely intelligent, indomitable person, who's worked her arse off to get where she is today. I respect her just about as much as it's possible to respect a black Republican (like Tories of colour, an eternal riddle) and I wouldn't want to belittle her achievements by throwing the cheapest shot in the book at her. My mum taught me to know better.

This salacious little rumour just helps put a little more flesh on the bones of one of the most powerful people in the world.

And then, a newsroom's really not a newsroom if it doesn't get its sex, and as today proved, it's amazing where a nice pair of legs can take you...