You can't have helped noticing that Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf, the former Iraqi Information Minister, has finally tethered the dogs of war and resurfaced to be greeted by a jubilant Baghdad press corps.

But with his former employer currently on gardening leave, the man known as Comical Ali finds himself between projects. Mr Sahhaf says he plans to publish a kiss and tell book on his time with Saddam, but until then, how does he plan to fill his days?

For yet another Nota Benny exclusive, we've gone back to our source in Baghdad, and acquired a letter from Little Mo that gives a clue as to what he hopes to do next:

Dear President George W Bush,

It has come to my attention that the post of White House Press Secretary will shortly become vacant. I am hereby tendering my application in the hope that you may consider me for the role.

As someone who has had to perform a similar function for another sovereign nation, I am well acquainted with the duties the post will entail. Indeed, I believe you are familiar with my recent work in Baghdad, and very much appreciate the public plaudits you afforded me, while other members of our respective administrations and their citizens were taking part in a full and frank exchange of views.

I believe, therefore, that I can bring several lessons learned in my most recent position in succeeding Ari Fleischer as the public face of the White House.

Obviously, the most important aspect of the job will be the ease with which I am able to communicate the administration's thoughts, opinions and policies to the news media with conviction. It is widely known in this profession that these messages may occasionally include aspects of creative interpretation of the facts, be adventurously progressive when dealing with wider international opinion and domestic law, or require the messenger to disregard their personal philosophy. You will agree, I am certain, that my evident accomplishment in this field will allow me to transfer seamlessly from my old post into the new one.

Through my work and studies I have been fortunate enough to develop a highly proficient and colourful command of the English language. Enclosed is a transcript of some of the more memorable moments from my recent press briefings. I will, of course, always be on hand to assist you in becoming ever more articulate and eloquent.

My relationship with the world press, as demonstrated in recent months, is very amiable, and I would relish the badinage with the White House press corps that is clearly such an important element of the job.

I also possess a great personal knowledge of the geography of the Middle East - an area which, I understand from my contacts, will continue to dominate the news agenda over the coming months and years. Although it would not necessarily be directly relevant to my appointed role, I would be happy to act as a special advisor on issues pertaining to the region.

And finally, the similarity in the name of the incumbent - Ari - and my nickname - Ali - means I could slip into the post without the uncomfortable name-learning period that accompanies every new appointment.

So it is my belief that my skills and experience to date have been excellent preparation for this role, and I would cherish the opportunity to work with the team that has so successfully communicated its vision to the rest of the world.

It is only common sense, then, that we build on the serendipitous nature of the situation we currently find ourselves in, and use it to build a formidable partnership. I look forward very much to working with you.

Yours sincerely,

Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf

P.S. Please forgive me calling you, among other things, an insane little dwarf. I hope you understand that it was merely proof of my professional dedication to the role I was then performing, and hope it will not impede my application.